


Let Me Save You

by WizardlyWaffles



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Falling In Love, M/M, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 07:58:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6146925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WizardlyWaffles/pseuds/WizardlyWaffles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Germany provokes a devastating war that tears the world apart and kills Italy, he is offered the chance to go back in time and reverse his disastrous mistake. Can Germany save the world and Italy before his paradox destroys it? Time Travel Au!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Devastation

_It was all his fault._

This all would have been so much easier to process if the bombs would just be quiet for five seconds. The rattling of guns and distant shouts of pain wasn’t helping Germany right now. Because…in his arms, rested the dead Italy. His best friend. His only friend. The only person who was willing to tolerate his strict nature, resting his cold weight in his arms. His body resembled Swiss cheese, littered with bullet holes. His eyes stared into the distance, cold and unfocused. It looked like the work of one of his ally’s, despite giving a strict instruction not to kill the personification of Italy. Germany moaned woefully against his cold chest, cradling his small body and whispering his regrets through his tears.

_He was a murderer_

It all began two years ago. Although from everything that had happened, it felt more like a distant memory. He could remember the state of his people, whining and pleading for their lives on the streets of Berlin. The beggars…his people, were once stable with jobs, food on the table and a roof over their heads. There had been many reports of the fall of the food produce; Germany was convinced they could just instate a rationing period until things would grow optimistic again. The food needed to be imported from other nations, which did not come by cheaply. Every night, he could feel the pain of his people. Their pleas for bread, their growling stomachs…the hunger pains. Germany could feel it twisting in his gut. When the economy started to dry out slowly, rationing turned into famine. Italy was the only nation willing to support him now, offering a quarter of his food produces. Germany would forever be grateful for that.

But it just wasn’t enough. Italy’s lands were rich and fertile for horticulture. Germany needed a way to produce his own foods. Too many of his people were dying. If the morality rate kept growing higher than it already was, what was stopping his people from deserting his nation? If that were to happen, he was surely to dissolve.

_“Romano…South Italy...I’m in need of your help” His hands ran through his slicked back hair anxiously, pacing around Romano’s office desk._

_“Tsk. What do you want? Haven’t you pinched enough from us, you greedy bastard? Did you want it served on a silver platter now, princess?”_

_“Please. I am begging you, let me occupy some of your lan-“_

_“Not happening, jerk. Not again. You’ve got my brother. But you just can’t get enough, can you?”_

_“Romano! Please! My people are dying! My lands aren’t fertile enough for-“_

_“Our soil will never be fertile for you, bastard!” With that, Romano stood up and spat in Germany’s face in a fit of anger._

_“….So you’re condemning me to death even after everything I had done for you and your brother during World War Two?”_

_“It’ll do the world a favour. Now fuck off”_

_“….So, it has to be done the hard way…this is your last chance. Lend me your lands, or we will settle this through warfare”_

_Romano looked hesitant for a moment before drawing his pistol from his belt and pointing it to Germany’s head. “Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Office. I won’t give up my land for you, asshole!”_

_“Then it’s been decided”_

The news was splattered all over the tabloids. Nations talked to nations about ‘that trouble-maker Germany, always the starter of devastation’ or ‘How?! Italy and Germany are best friends! How could they go to war?!’ Originally, Germany’s intent was to only give a small push. A small threat to South Italy to show him what he’s really capable of if his demands weren’t met. That was, until Germany opened his curtains one morning to find the streets of Berlin on fire with black smoky skies. Now, his intent was to kill.

He had expected Italy to get dragged into it, although rather reluctantly. After all, who was he going to stick up for more? A previous ringleader of the Axis? Or his own brother? He always aimed his gun away from Italy when in combat. He retaliated by bombing the fertile land he had admired so much…and news had reached his ears of people who had decided to avenge the dead Romano who had been caught in the blast. Germany wasn’t alone however. Russia had stepped in to help, on the exception that he received half of Italy’s territory. He had agreed, after all, Russia was the biggest nation in the world; how could he refuse?

Fear struck the hearts of Europe. In their desperation, the once peaceful collection of nations chose sides. The whole world that once collaborated peacefully was now divided evenly. Germany had given strict orders not to assassinate Italy, but to catch him if given the chance.

Germany’s boots thudded against the soft soil, softened from the blood, bullets and boot tracks from a never-ending war. Bullets whistled in the distance; the dull thumping of metal embedding itself into flesh would always make Germany cringe. There was a shrill scream and the sound of multiple bullets hitting the body. He recognised that scream. He broke into a sprint, desperately rushing towards the sound of the voice. Germany skidded to a halt in the middle of the warzone. There it was.

There he was.

Italy could only shakily cough up a glob of blood with a fearful look before his body gave out and his eyes rolled in the back of his head. Germany was far too late. He fell to his knees, crawling closer to the man he had once called his friend. “Italy…Italy, gott…nein….” Germany whispered shakily, tears welled up in his stinging eyes before he clutched the body to his chest. “Nein! NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!”

_You wish to go back._

Germany gasped at the sudden voice in his mind, wiping away his heavy tears and staring to the sky. “Who…who said that? This battlefield is empty. T-there’s nobody but me who’s alive now. You shouldn’t exist”

_But I do. And I’ve come to take him._

“T-take him? W-What are you? Who are you?!” Germany cried desperately, clutching onto Italy’s cold body.

_I am an old friend. I too fell in a battle field. I’ve come to reunite with him again. Italy, my love, I’ve come to collect you. We’ll be together forever now_

“Nein! I won’t let you! H-he’s a strong nation! Maybe he’s unconscious!”

_…You seem to be very protective of Italy. Don’t you realize he’s dead? He’s gone, long gone. But…you seem like a good friend to him_

“I-I was. I did some awful things…I-I killed him through my own selfishness! I-I want to save him! I wish I could go back! I never wanted this to happen! I never asked for this devastation!” Germany whined through his tears, cradling Italy’s body as if his life depended on it.

_…Maybe you can. I am a nation who made a promise to Italy long ago. I got his hopes up. I made him cry. For years, he’s waited for me. But I’ll never return. Now I live life in purgatory waiting for him. But you were always there to cheer him up. He looked up to you so much, Mr. Germany. As a dead nation, I have the ability to grant you powers that would otherwise be theoretically impossible._

Germany shakily swallowed and nodded, looking up to the skies once more. “…I-I don’t understand. But…please, tell me”

_If you want to save this world and Italy, I can send you back in time. However, there is a price that must be paid. Only if you’re willing._

He looked down at Italy’s blank eyes, his mouth hung open loosely. He was almost unrecognisable like this. Another bomb went off in the distance. What could he do? 

“I’ll accept whatever I need to offer you. Just please…give me the chance to save Italy”

_Then…I will send you back in exchange for your soul. Our souls will be bound forever in eternity. You will have my memories and I will have yours. You will return the week before the war started. However, you will be competing with your paradox. I trust you will change the future._

Everything disappeared in the blink of an eye. Germany was no longer on the battle field, but surrounded in a void of white light. He felt the scars and the wounds suddenly vanishing from his body as his body travelled at the speed of sound through the rift of time and space. Then everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Germany awoke with a gasp, the soft grass brushing against his cheeks; the pleasant warm glow of the sun and the sound of birds chirping was a sensation he was convinced he would never feel again. He rolled over with a groan, tangling his fingers through the blades of fresh green grass with awe. “….”

“Caio~! Germany!”

Germany flinched and looked over to see Italy running his direction. That smile…his smile; the sight alone started to make Germany’s lip quiver and tears prickle in his eyes. Italy abruptly stopped with his head cocked to the side. “Germany? Why are you playing in the grass? I thought we were training just a second ago….?” Italy asked in confusion. Germany struggled to his feet and staggered towards Italy, shakily heaving as tears threatened to force their way down his cheeks. “Oh? Are we going to train again, commander~? Okie dokie! I had my siesta and-“ “Italy”

Italy opened his eyes and gave Germany a concerned look. “…Germany?” Italy yelped suddenly as Germany pressed him closer to his chest and began to cry heavily into his hair, “Wha-?! What’s wrong, Germany?!”

He said nothing as he heaved and tears continued to spill down his cheeks. “I-Italy…mein got, Italy!” he whispered hoarsely. “Nng…captain, you’re kind of crushing me!” Italy whimpered. Despite Italy’s protests to let go, Germany still held on as if his life depended on it. Italy was forced to pry himself out of the grip of the sobbing man and gave him a horrified look. “…Germany….? What’s the matter with you?” He asked shakily. Germany looked to the grass with a pained look. He couldn’t tell Italy about what had happened. All he needed to do was save this world. But…he needed an excuse as to why he was crying. Fast.

“…I-I’m sorry, Italy. I shouldn’t of frightened you like that” He whimpered. Italy blinked and stepped a little closer, pressing a hand to his shoulder. “It’s okay, commander. Just…what happened? You look really terrible!” Germany sat against the grass and began to tangle his fingers through the blades. Somehow, he found touching the softness of the grass to be soothing for his broken soul.

“I had a horrifying dream”

“Oh! Kind of like the one where I thought you and Japan would leave me! It’s okay, Germany! I’ll never leave you”

His words stung more than they were meant to; but Germany knew Italy didn’t mean it like that. “You are close. I-I had a dream where you…everyone had died. And it was because I had turned into this-“ Germany took a shaky breath and hugged his knees, “-this monster. A-and I couldn’t save you. Oh gott, I couldn’t save you…!” Again with the heavy tears. Germany cried against his knees and moaned woefully at the memory. Italy was at complete shock. His commander, known for being strict and serious was now curled up crying. Italy draped an arm around Germany’s shoulders and rubbed his back soothingly. “It’s okay, Germany. It was all a dream…a really scary sounding one too! It’s all over now. Everyone’s alive and safe and you aren’t a monster”

Germany pulled his head up from his knees and looked at Italy with a forced smile. “Danke…Veneziano”

But the truth was, he was far from safe and sound. Germany didn’t know how to save the world; he didn’t know how to stop this war. He didn’t know how to save Italy.

“Italy! Are you there?”

Italy jolted and looked into the distance, where Japan was calling out over the fields. Japan…that was a face Germany was convinced he would never see again too. “Come on, Germany! We gotta keep training, remember?” Italy suggested, standing up and giving his back a final pat of reassurance.

An anxious twisting settled in his gut. What would happen if the Germany from this world found him like this? Italy extended a hand down and gazed down. “Germany…? Why aren’t you getting up?” He asked innocently. A lie! Think of a lie quickly!

“I uh…I’m not feeling well. I think I will go and lie down for a moment. But please, continue your training with Japan”

Italy blinked but shrugged it off. “Whatever you say, Germany! Japan! Japan, I’ll be right over!” with that, Germany watched regretfully as Italy ran away.

Germany sighed and laid against the soft grass a moment longer, holding a hand to his face.

_You made the right choice_

He jolted upright and looked for the source of the voice. “Who are you? Show yourself!” Germany commanded. He wished he hadn’t. Knelt beside him was a ghostly, pale young boy with a deep resemblance to himself; however, there was a large spear embedded in his abdomen that served as proof he was a nation that never survived for long.

_Hallo, I am Holy Roman Empire. I should’ve introduced myself earlier…_

Holy Roman Empire looked to the direction of Italy and Japan stretching their limbs in the distance.

_You must know about time travel already to make that choice. Did you already know if your past self sees you, the flow of time will be destroyed?_

Germany looked into the distance and sighed, threading his fingers through the grass. “Nein. I just had a hunch. Also…I wanted to enjoy the view” He murmured, watching as Italy laughed and began to jog. A small smile fell on his features.

_You love him, don’t you?_

He tore his eyes away from Italy and gave Holy Rome a shocked look, who only stared back with a smug look. “What?! Nein…Nein, that- that isn’t something I’m allowed to do” Germany stuttered with a blush.

Holy Rome smirked and cleared his throat.

_I still think there’s something there~ Hehe. But I can’t force you to confess your feelings. We need to work out a strategy to make this work. We have a week before your past self goes and challenges Romano. So my main question is…what are you planning?_

Germany looked to his hands and considered it for a moment. What could he do? “…I could…I could eliminate the threat before it starts…”

_What? Kill your past self? ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!_

Holy Rome sent a swift slap to Germany’s cheek, causing him to gasp in shock. If felt like having a strong icy gust of wind that stung against his cheek. Germany would never forget that feeling. “What?! Then what do you suggest, dummkopf?!” Germany snapped, trying to return a swift punch back, only to grumble bitterly as his fist went through Holy Rome’s body.

_Germany! I’ll never forgive you if you did that! Italy loves you, damn it! How could you consider it saving him when you’re taking away his happiness?_

Germany ran a shaky hand through his hair and looked to his hands. “It’s not that simple, Holy Rome. I don’t know how to…wait! I-I can’t possibly get him to…could I?”

_Get him to love you more than a friend? It’s possible. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Germany. But, what about your past self? Can he come to terms with his feelings?_

“So you’re telling me to act as a cupid? That’s how I’ll save the world?” Germany murmured weakly. His heart fluttered at the thought of being in a union with Italy. A union that saves the world from chaos. A union of love; together. “…My past self didn’t love Italy then. He found him an annoying dummkopf. But…he never said he hated his company. Maybe somehow….”

_You know what to do, Germany. You only have a week for him to fall in love with you. All you need to do is switch roles. Seduce Italy. Make him love you. Then, Italy will need to confront Germany at some point. Just so you’re aware, you won’t be alone. I will tend to past Germany._

“Und how will you do that?”

_I’m a dead nation! I have the ability to enter the mind of nations in their dreams. So I’ll assist in getting him to love Italy for you!_

Germany shuffled in his place in discomfort at the thought of having his mind fooled with. But if it really was the only way to save the world…

“Fine then. In the meantime, I will do what I can to win Italy’s heart and to avoid my paradox. Uh…while you’re in my mind, don’t go looking into my memories…there are things I want to keep private” He coughed in his hand and went a little red at the memory of the things…the sinful things he had seen in his time.

_Such a pervert! I’ll do what I can~_

Germany watched as Holy Rome abruptly vanished into thin air and stood up. He needed a place to stay for now and he needed an action plan. Not sure what to do, he staggered to the lights of the city; perhaps there was place for him somewhere.


	3. Chapter 3

He wasn’t sure where he was heading when he had staggered into the streets of Italy’s home, all he needed to do was find a place to stay. After all, staying inside his own home would endanger the entire mission. Ludwig had found a cheap hotel, perfect to hide in. That was, until his doorbell rang.

“Hallo…?”

“Caio, Germany~!”

Germany had almost leapt right out of his skin seeing Italy just standing in his doorway innocently. “Was?! How did you get here?!” “I followed you home!”

Italy gave a large beam and squeezed his hands tightly. “You said you invited me to dinner, remember?” Germany gave a confused look. Nein, he never invited him to dinner. What was he talking abou-

_Just play along_

Holy Rome peered from behind Italy’s shoulder, giving a small, smug smile. That annoying ghost! Italy made himself comfortable and sat on the couch eagerly. “So Germany, why did you move to this stinky hotel? I would’ve invited you to mine if I had known this was how bad the hotel is!” He chirped eagerly. Germany’s cheeks flushed at the thought of being able to live under the same roof as Italy. “Uh…I just wanted a change of pace, is all”

He stood in the doorway for a few seconds longer before hesitantly sitting next to Italy. Even though he had done this many, many times before, somehow this time felt more difficult. He desperately wanted to hold him and kiss him like he wanted to. They had spent many years as reluctant enemies and Germany had never once wanted to kill him. His palms started to grow sweaty at the thought of letting his lips press against Italy’s softly.

“-ermany? Germany, are you there?”

Germany flinched and looked at Italy. “Ah, Ja, I’m here with you, Italy” Italy smiled once more and curled into his lap. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me but…I feel like there’s something bothering you. Something other than the dream”

Italy blinked and took a close look into Germany’s eyes. “…I-it’s nothing”

He blinked once more and pinched Germany’s pink cheek. “You don’t need to hide it, Germany! We’re best friends after all~! Just tell me…” Italy said through a childish pout. Germany continued to frown through his blush and cleared his throat. “I can’t, Italy. I just can’t yet”

Suddenly, a whimsical tune crackled through the radio, seemingly by itself which made them both jump. Germany whipped his head to the radio in confusion to find Holy Rome hovering above it with a smile and a wave. Oh that ghost!

“Oh! I love this song!” Italy piped up, standing up.

Germany watched as Italy started to move away from the couch towards the radio.

_Germany. Now is your chance. Dance with him!_

Horror and bashfulness had never become such close bedfellows in Ludwig’s mind. He stared at Holy Rome as if he was insane. He couldn’t prompt something like this! This was something Italy would do with the pretty ladies on the street!

Nein, he was running out of time. The fate of the world depended on Germany to get Italy to fall in love with him. The sound of the radio becoming a little louder snapped him from his thoughts.

“Ve~ The vocalist is very pretty, Germany. I wish I could sing like that”

Now. Germany stood up and held Italy’s hands. In his panic, his mind tried to fumble for a witty remark to Italy’s comment. Think of something, dummkopf, think!

“Oh, I think I can make you sing”

Both Italy and Holy Rome stared at Germany in disbelief. “Germany, what do you mean?”

Of all the clever remarks that made a man humble and inviting….Germany had chosen the absolute worst one to use. Although, it appeared to have worked on Italy, as his cheeks were gradually growing pinker by the passing second.

“I-I mean uh…”

Actions spoke louder than words. With scarlet cheeks, Germany carefully placed his hands on Italy’s hips and began to sway his body slowly to the music.

“W-what I meant was-“

“You just wanted to dance to this song. Right, Germany?” For once, it seemed Italy had sensed the mood.

“Ja. Ja, that’s it”

Italy hummed and hesitantly placed a hand on Germany’s chest and entwined his fingers with the other’s. Germany’s face began to go a deeper red as the song faded out and the next one came crackling through the radio. A particularly slow paced one with smooth, soft vocals. So pleasantly soft, Germany could virtually hear his own heartbeat pounding through his body. Italy shuffled closer and pressed his face into Germany’s chest.

“Mm. I like this song too~ It’s a love song. Big brother France taught me a little French, but I never remembered it. I do remember some bits though. Do you know what ‘I Love You’ in French is, Luddy?”

Luddy. Ludwig. Countries only addressed each other by personal names if they were fully trusting to each other. Otherwise, they remained needed to remain professional and call them by their country titles. Did Italy trust him that much?

“Uh, nein, Feliciano…how do you say it?”

“Je t’aime…”

Germany shuddered at the feel of Italy’s warm breath against his chest. It wasn’t the breath itself that made him quiver, but the words within it.

“Je t’aime…it sounds very passionate” Germany noted. Italy continued to sway with him to the slow music. “The different ways to say I love you fascinates me” He spoke again.

“There’s so many languages…so many different ways. Each way is different, which makes it more unique! Isn’t it great, Germany?”

“Mm” Germany focused on holding Italy and dancing with him slowly. But the pace they were going now just wasn’t going to cut it. He needed something to happen!

“Ludwig…”

Germany looked down to see Italy staring up at him with reddened cheeks. “Ja, Feliciano?”

“I-I need to go now. Romano must be worried sick”

His heart took less time to sink than the speed Italy had pulled away and walked to the door. “O-oh. Okay then, Feliciano”

Italy opened the apartment hastily and hesitated at the doorframe. As if there was something he needed to say, but he just couldn’t say it.

“I will see you tomorrow, ja?”

“S-si. Tomorrow then, Ludwig!”

Germany gave a love struck smile and waved to him. “Of course. Auf Weidersehen, Italy” It was his turn to hesitate. He could feel Holy Rome’s stare boring into his skin. He needed to do something! Germany, the stoic man who many felt intimidated by, blew Italy a kiss. His palms were sweating at such a gesture. But it worked. Italy blew one back with scarlet cheeks and hurried out the room without another word.

“Auf Weidersehen, Italy…”

Holy Rome snapped his fingers, prompting the door to abruptly close with a slam that pulled Germany from his trance.

_‘I think I can make you sing’. Really, Germany? Really?_

“Oh shut it, junge. You’re just little dead nation, what would you know of flirting?” Germany snapped at the ghost. Holy Roman Empire simply blushed, fiddled with the spear in his abdomen and looked away in embarrassment.

_More than you apparently. Hehe. I’ll have you know, I actually kissed Italy once!_

There were many things Germany thought he would never do in his life as a nation. Firstly, he never imagined he of all people would be the one destined to save the world. Secondly, Germany couldn’t comprehend the thought of selling his soul to a wise-cracking ghost.

Finally, never in all his years did Germany imagine he would ever experience a night such as this one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooo I haven't picked up on this in a WHILE. I want to continue even though school is really putting on the pressure. I'm just not done with this one yet.

Germany laid against the stale pillows of the cheap motel room, trying so hard to sleep. Holy Rome had vanished an hour ago, claiming to be entering the other Germany's dreams. By intruding on his dreams, his paradox could start to develop feelings for the bubbly Italian. 

Oh Italy. Oh sweet, sweet Italy. 

Germany could feel his cheeks prickle with warmth at the memory of how caring he was when he was literally breaking down in hysterical tears. He's so oblivious to him. Would Italy even believe his story if he told him? How could Germany sit down with him and look him in the eyes while confessing his sins. 

His mind wandered to the way Italy wrinkles his nose whenever he smiled, or his soft freckles against his tan skin. His laughter; that always made his heartbeat rival a fast snare drum. Germany would admit his feelings for Italy was undeniable despite his attempts to keep it deep inside. 

Guh! He couldn't stay here and think of Italy all night! He needed to make him fall in love with him! How on earth was he going to do that when the other Germany is probably making plans? Germany pulled himself out of the worn out mattress and pulled on a dressing gown. He couldn't sleep. And usually that meant he had just enough energy to get on with other tasks. 

Germany sat at the tiny study desk that the motel provided. It was nothing like his writing desk back home, which was twice the size, but it would have to do. It was there, he sat and pondered for an answer. He would admit he was clueless on the ways of romance. Italy was the more passionate nation out of them all. He could almost rival France! 

In the back of his mind, Germany was trying to remember his love manual used...on that DISASTROUS date. He grimaced at the memory. 

The memory lingered in his mind. Of the humiliation. The awkward conversations and averted glances. It took more than a week to get Italy to understand his side of the story. That night, Italy was humiliated beyond belief. "Germany what were you thinking?! We're only friends, not lovers!" He protested once his mind unfroze from the horror he had caused. Germany had never seen Italy so mad in his life. He had to watch numbly as the ring he had bought was tossed onto the dinner table and bounce across the restaurant floor. 

Germany never found the ring that night. 

Did Italy harbor any feelings about that night? Did he regret anything he had said? 

Worst of all, would Italy even bring himself to love him after everything that had happened? 

Germany gave a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. Perhaps...perhaps writing a letter would help the situation. Not exactly a love confession but maybe a confession of...gratitude? Ja, gratitude sounded about right. Germany took the complimentary pen and took out a sheet of paper from a small journal that was stuffed in his pocket. 

Ah, his military coordinates. In this little book, Germany would plan his attacks on Italy's troops. Although they were always too fast. Italians were quick on their feet when violence was involved. Germany frowned at the sight of blood that had seeped into a few of the last pages. Towards the end of the book, there was hastily written writing, some of it was blurry and wrinkled as if water had landed on it. As it did. The only sentence on the last few pages was "Italy is dead" in desperate, hasty writing. 

Germany shook away the thoughts of the events on the battlefield and placed the nib of his pen against the paper. 

_Dearest Italy,_

_Your smile ~~means everything to me~~ is appreciated in my daily life. I am sorry I have seemed a little off to you lately. I have many things on my mind at this current time. _

_I am writing to you to let you know that I am grateful for our friendship. ~~Seeing your smile brings me joy.~~ I enjoy our time together and I strongly wish  ~~~~ ~~we will never be apart~~ that we will continue to stay close and support each other. _

~~_Lately I have felt different about you. I think I have fallen in love with you again, Feliciano._ ~~

_Whatever happens, remember I will always be there for you._

~~_Love_ ~~

_From Germany._

Germany reread the letter over and over, speaking the words under his breath. He couldn't be too bold just yet. For now, this should just be a simple reminder. Just a simple reminder of what he means to him. Germany wished he could have included those words of love. He scrapped his draft letter and rewrote it to be more of a letter of friendship.

Rather than stay here, Germany got dressed and took the letter with him on a stroll through the streets of Venice. The canals looked beautiful at night when the glow of light from the other buildings reflected against the water. Germany had one mission in mind: Deliver the letter, go home. Well, go back to the motel anyway. He stopped at Italy's doorstep and slipped the letter under the crack. Just before he could turn away, the door creaked open. 

"Germany? What are you doing out so late?" Italy asked softly. He was dressed in only a fluffy dressing gown and bunny slippers. Oh how adorable. The stoic nation couldn't help but blush at the sight. Suddenly, his palms began to sweat and his mind was reeling. 

"I-I uh...I-I've come to deliver something" He mumbled, shaking holding out the letter. 

Italy blinked and took it curiously. "A letter? A letter for me? Oh silly Germany! You shouldn't have!" 

Germany tensed and held his breath as Italy opened it up and scanned through it briefly. 

"Oh...Germany...I didn't know you felt that way about me"

What?

Germany didn't understand what Italy meant. At no point did the letter indicate that he had communicated his feelings towards the Italian. His cheeks began to burn dramatically "O-Of course! I-I love you very much, Italy" 

It was Italy's time to blush. "I-I mean...I always assumed you found me annoying...I was worried" 

Germany couldn't help it, he stepped forward and hugged Italy tightly. "Nein, nein, nein! I could never find you annoying, Italy"

"I'm happy we're such good friends!" 

Wait...friends? 

Italy looked up at Germany with a beaming smile, noticing Germany's inner distress and confusion. 

"Si...friends. You love me as a friend, right Germany? Germany?"

Germany didn't respond. He had completely frozen in his place. Italy shuffled on his feet and cleared his throat softly. 

"Um....Germany, would you like to sleepover tonight? The cheap motel you're renting is really run down...and I'd prefer it if you were here..." 

Italy laced his fingers with Germany's and pulled him closer. 

"Please..." 

How could he say no?

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #ANGSTBOMB

When Germany had entered the house, he swore his heart would beat out of his chest. Italy never let go of his hand as he led him to the dining room. There was a whiff of warm milk in the air and a slightly steaming mug sitting on the counter. Was Italy drinking hot chocolate by himself? 

"Make yourself at home as always, Luddy" Italy murmured softly, finally letting go of his hand. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes as he sat down at the counter once more. Germany could read the bubbly Mediterranean nation like a book sometimes. 

Germany sat on a chair near Italy and watched him with caution.

"Is...everything alright, Italy?" 

Italy only hummed in response and traced his fingers over the mug. There was something he was hiding deep within his eyes; but it seemed the other wasn't going to address it. 

"Ludwig...w-we've been friends for a while, si?" 

Germany swallowed thickly. Why was Italy acting so out of place?

"Ja. Ja we have been. A-and hopefully for all eternity too" Italy seemed to squirm at that. He paused for a long moment, staring into the mug, to the wall, back to Germany then to the mug again before scrunching his nose "Germany...I...Oh I don't know!"

Wait...what?

"Ve~ I'm just being silly! Ignore me!" Italy playfully pinched Germany's cheek, "I was going to say something but I completely lost what I was going to say!" 

Germany bit his lip and looked to the table. "R-right" 

A long silence followed afterwards. After a period of awkwardly fidgeting in their seats, Germany spoke up. 

"I-Italy I-"

"Germany...." 

Italy stood up, walked to Germany and slid into his lap, prompting to gasp. 

"I-I feel....different when I'm with you. I get this feeling in my chest that feels like it will pop like a balloon. A-and my hands start to shake a-and-" "Italy stop" 

Germany's eyes were staring deep into Italy's soul. As if they were magnets, Germany and Italy simultaneously began to tilt their heads and move a little closer. Germany could feel the plumes of air coming from Italy's nostrils. He wondered if Italy could hear his heartbeat from how close he was at this moment. Their lips were so close to being one! Italy must have realized of their closeness and pulled away to hug his German friend instead. 

"I-Italy..."

Italy buried his face into Germany's chest, listening to his heartbeat as it drummed mercilessly against his chest. "I like you, Germany....But I can't do this" 

No amount of preparation could have prepared Germany for the amount of soul crushing defeat that stabbed him through the chest at those words. He felt like he was on the battlefield again, holding onto Italy's cold body, screaming his regrets into his bloodied chest. He could  _feel_ his flesh crawl with humiliation and regret and pain. Germany wanted nothing more than to just kiss Italy then and there. To tell him "Nein, nein, nein. We have to, Italy. I can't...the future depends on our unity!" But he couldn't. And that was tearing him apart. 

"Germany...I-I've been keeping a secret from you" 

Oh gott. Germany could feel the tears building up in his eyes. He will NOT cry. He will not cry. He refuses to let him see him sobbing. 

"Japan and I....we've been seeing each other. We're not in a relationship but...he and I like to do things whenever we meet" Italy blushed a little and looked down and added for clarification, "Naughty things" 

That's the exact moment Germany felt his tears cascade down like a tidal wave. They washed away any hope he had for a future to be saved. His shoulders trembled harshly to the point where Italy looked up at him and started to panic. "G-Germany! Germany oh no...please don't cry! That's why I invited you in. To tell you that Japan and I might turn this into a real relationship. I-I wanted your approval first" 

Germany regretfully pushed Italy off and trudged out the house. 

"Germany! Wait!" 

He felt Italy grab his palm. Like a romantic film, Italy swung him around and hugged him. "I-I'm sorry....I-I'm so sorry...." 

Germany hastily wiped his eyes. He couldn't say anything. His body was still in a state of shock. The gentle warmth of Italy beside him was not helping at all. 

"Germany...Germany please hear me out...." 

"I-I....I-I l-love you, Italy. I-I've fallen so helplessly in love with you..." Germany whispered shakily. He choked back a loud sob and dried his eyes, only for another wave of tears to flow down. Italy took this as his cue to stand on his tippytoes and kiss Germany's jaw, which prompted a surprised sharp gasp. 

"I-I...I like you too. Not in that way but...but...I don't know, Germany!" Italy buried his face into Germany's chest again. He could feel the warm dampness against his shirt. 

For a long while, they stayed like that in a tight embrace. Fighting a personal battle of 'should we pull away' or 'should we stay like this'. Italy pulled away and traced his fingers down Germany's chest. 

"I...I'm so sorry, Germany" 

".......Nein. It was my fault" He replied with a hollow voice, "I overreacted. I shouldn't be letting my emotions get in the way of your happiness. You and Japan will make a w-wonderful couple. Please. You have my blessing. I support your relationship. Just leave me alone" 

Italy stepped back completely and kept his eyes trailed to the floor. Germany hesitated, then left the building. In his jacket pocket, he could feel the hard edge of his caliber pistol occasionally smacking against his chest as he walked home. There was one way he could save the world yet. 

 


End file.
